


The Last Cut is the Deepest

by BeStillMySlashyHeart



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:56:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23057341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeStillMySlashyHeart/pseuds/BeStillMySlashyHeart
Summary: Every time you tell a lie, your soulmate gets a painful tally mark scar on their body. Alex is always very careful to skirt the truth, to phrase his lies so carefully that they aren't actually lies so that he doesn't mark up his soulmates body. His soulmate does not have the same consideration. Of course, it all makes sense when he realizes his soulmate isn't even human and the lack of marks from Alex made him think he didn't have a soulmate. If only that realization was enough to stop him.
Relationships: Maria DeLuca/Michael Guerin, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 14
Kudos: 262





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [el_gilliath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/el_gilliath/gifts).



Alex didn’t even flinch as another mark etched itself into his leg; he was more than used to the sensation by this point. At least now he knew what the lies usually were. For decades he’d had to put up with Michael Guerin’s inability to tell the truth and he bore the scars to prove it. It was ironic that now that he knew the truth, Michael had turned to lying to someone else. 

He glanced across the bar to find Michael and Maria intertwined, her hands cradling his left hand. They were obviously discussing its miraculous recovery and Michael was refusing to confess the source of said miracle.

Another mark.

“Hey Kyle,” he mused idly. Kyle hummed in response, too engrossed in the nearby pool game to turn and look at him. “The sky is green.”

There was a gratifying thump from the bar as Michael reacted to the mark. He’d never learned to handle it well. Alex had always been careful to skirt around the truth rather than outright lie, unwilling to cause his soulmate harm if he didn’t have to. Michael hadn’t even thought he could have a soulmate since he wasn’t human, so the same courtesy never occurred to him.

Kyle didn’t even look at him. “Soulmate?” He laughed.

“All’s fair…” Alex muttered. Another mark. “I love Beyonce.” The glass near Michael’s hand cracked in half. He refused to look over. 

Thankfully Michael was good the rest of the night. Either he’d told her the truth or he’d found a way out of it without lying. Considering Alex was well versed in Michael’s tactics of avoiding a conversation, he’d prefer to think that Michael was overcome with a sense of honesty. 

He and Kyle were headed out when he heard Michael say, “I love you,” to Maria and a fresh mark erupted on his stump.


	2. Chapter 2

“I will support you in whatever you decide,” Isobel promised through gritted teeth. “But I need you to decide. Are we telling Maria the truth or keeping her in the dark forever? I can’t keep wondering what she does or doesn’t know.”

“We need to tell her,” Liz countered. “With everything that’s been going on with her mom? And with the cops investigating the Pony because of Noah? Keeping her in the dark is just putting her in danger!”

“But that’s not your call to make, Liz,” Kyle reminded quietly. “It’s theirs.” He nodded at Michael and Isobel. “And Isobel’s made it pretty clear it’s up to Guerin.”

Liz shook her head. “I can’t keep lying to her.”

“Well figure out a way,” Michael snapped. “Because until I decide to tell her you will keep your mouth shut. Max may have given you free reign with our lives and our secret but he’s dead and you’re almost out of rope.” 

“Michael,” Isobel quietly admonished. Alex knew she felt the same way but she wasn’t dumb enough to come out and say it. Not to Liz’s face.

“I respect that this is your secret and your lives that we’re talking about her,” Liz replied quietly with steel in her voice. “But you aren’t the only ones involved. It is dangerous for anyone associated with the two of you and keeping Maria in the dark while you’re sleeping with her is only going to put _her_ in more danger. And telling her will not endanger either of you.” She grabbed her jacket and left before Michael could respond. 

“She’s not wrong,” Kyle added quietly before following. 

“Michael-” Isobel sighed.

“It’s up to me, right?” Michael looked at her. “I like having one person in my life not know what I freak I am, Izzy. Maybe we’ll have to tell her at some point but not now. Not yet,” he pleaded.

“Okay,” she agreed, lips pursed. “But tell me if you change your mind.” She cast a suspicious look at where Alex remained sitting in the corner and then she too left.

Michael and Alex were alone for the first time in weeks.

“You want me to tell her, too?” Michael snarked.

Alex stood up silently and stripped off his plaid shirt. “We aren’t doing that anymore or did you forget?” Michael told him slowly. As if he could forget. Alex ignored him and stripped off his t-shirt next. As soon as he started to bare his chest, Michael turned away.

“Look at me,” he ordered. Michael shook his head, his eyes fixed on the beer in his hands. “Michael. Look at me.”

Michael closed his eyes briefly before looking up. He flinched when he saw Alex’s scars. He had hundreds of tiny tally marks all over his body but his chest and back had the worst. Up until Caulfield, Michael would lave kisses over each and every one and curse the selfish asshole who’d caused them. ‘How could anyone tell this many lies when they knew it hurt someone else?’ he would ask. 

That all changed the day he realized that he was the selfish asshole.

_“Guerin!” Alex yelled when he got to the Airstream. He saw Michael’s truck parked to the side and a bile of empty bottles by one of the rusted chairs out front. “Guerin!”_

_The door swung open and Michael leaned unsteadily against the door frame. He was drunk but that wasn’t surprising. Alex wasn’t sure if he’d been sober since the night Max died. What was surprising was that he looked somewhat cognizant. Maybe they could actually manage a conversation, after all._

_“I thought I told you we were done?” Michael narrowed his eyes at him.  
_

_“You did,” Alex agreed. “We need to talk.”  
_

_Michael laughed, deep and mirthlessly. He took one step down and parked his butt on the step as he ran his hands over his face. “So we stop screwing and now you want to talk. Seems ironic.”_

_Alex shook his head. “Your truck is purple.” Michael flinched as a mark appeared on his shoulder. He looked from it to Alex. “The Airstream is orange.” Another mark. “I love my father.” A third. “I hate you.” A fourth._

_They both stared at the brand new marks etched into Michael’s shoulder. His skin was remarkably relatively unblemished. Enough so that up until now he could convince himself he didn’t have a soulmate, that it was a human only thing._

_“What?” Michael asked, forcing his eyes over to Alex. “When- when did you know?”  
_

_Alex licked his lips. “You’re a miserable liar,” he echoed his own words from Caulfield. Truthfully, he’d suspected before then but the moment Michael stared him in the face and screamed, “I don’t love you!” and he felt the deepest mark yet carve itself into the flesh over his heart, he’d known. Michael had avoided him since then so he hadn’t had a chance to tell him._

_“No,” Michael shook his head. “I- I can’t deal with this.”  
_

_“Fine,” Alex agreed easily. He’d expected nothing less. “But here’s the deal. I’m done getting scars, okay? I know you can avoid a topic just fine so figure out a way to stop lying. Or I’m going to start.” He paused and turned away. “See how you like getting your body carved up because someone can’t tell the truth.”  
_

That was the last time they’d spoken and Alex had accumulated a few new marks since then. And even though he’d given Michael a few of his own, they didn’t compare. “You don’t want to tell Maria the truth?” He asked. “Fine. That’s up to you. But stop lying to her. Because _I_ can’t take it anymore.” He unbuckled his pants and shoved them down his hips far enough to display a neat row of tally marks. “What were you talking about two nights ago?” Alex slowly slid his finger along the row. “Seems like you did a lot of lying.”

“We were talking about you,” Michael admitted, his voice rough. He seemed torn between staring at Alex’s skin and wanting to look literally anywhere else. 

“So you’re carving up my skin _because_ of me?” Alex was suddenly angry. “You want to lie to her about you? Fine! I mean, fuck you, but fine. But do not lie to her about me. I don’t deserve that.”

“She asked if-”

“Don’t answer! I managed it just fine for 10 years, you can handle a few months!” Alex yelled. “Or better yet! Tell her the fucking truth. It’s better for her and it’s better for me.”

“But not me,” Michael yelled. “When do I get to pick what’s best for me?!”

“You’re a coward,” Alex told him. They both waited for the mark to appear but Michael’s skin remained as it was. “You want to be with her without telling her who you are. You’re not a bad guy, Guerin. She’s not going to run when she finds out the truth. Whether she tolerates exactly how much you’ve lying to her, that’s a different story, but tell her the truth and then let her decide what she wants to do. Because if you want to be with her for real?” Alex’s voice cracked slightly. “Then do it for real. Don’t half ass it and don’t spend your entire relationship lying.”

—

Alex had to hand it to Michael, he’d learned how to lie without lying. Several months after their conversation, Maria was still in the dark about most of her friends’ activities but Alex had hardly any new marks. He wasn’t sure how Michael had managed it but he wasn’t going to complain. 

He hadn’t seen much (or any really) of Michael since then. The only glimpses he got were of the few minutes they spent meeting about the plan to save Max and when he went to the Pony. Of course, at the Pony he had to see Michael and Maria being the happy new, loving couple that they were. So he started avoiding the Pony. And the Crashdown. And getting his car fixed on the other side of town.

It was a small blessing that the only new marks he’d gotten recently were almost entirely of his own making. Looking back over the last few months, the incident stood out as the one time they managed to coexist in one place for longer than 5 minutes and they couldn’t even manage it without a little bloodshed.

“ _Yeah, I can do that,” Michael offered when Isobel asked if he could get her car to Sanders’ without waiting for the tow truck. Alex felt a new scar appear on his bicep as he and Kyle waited for Isobel to be ready to leave with them.  
_

_“Hey Kyle,” Alex mused. Kyle looked over at him, a smile around playing at his lips. By now, Kyle was familiar with the particular tone of voice Alex used when he was about to spout nonsense aimed purely at putting a mark on Michael. “I want a pet shark.” Kyle laughed and shook his head while Michael flinched._

_“Hey Iz?” Michael called. Isobel stopped and turned around halfway into her garage. “Your car needs new tires.” This one was almost in his armpit and Alex had to actively suppress his reaction.  
_

_“Oh, Kyle?” Kyle raised an eyebrow. “Did I tell you? I had a really terrible date last night.” He didn’t have any last night but if Michael wanted to interpret the mark as meaning it was a great date then so be it. A glance out the corner of his eye showed Michael fuming and rubbing at his hip._

_“Terrible, huh?” Kyle replied. “Better or worse than the one last week?” Alex smiled. His ‘date’ last week was at the local animal shelter. He was hoping to adopt a dog, maybe even a beagle, and he’d gone to meet a few.  
_

_“I’d say a little better.” Michael started rubbing his opposite hip. Kyle glanced over at him. Then back at Alex. Alex could see the pieces start tumbling into place and he cursed himself for doing this when they were together. It was easy to hide it when no one could see Michael get his coincidentally timed marks._

_Isobel came out of the garage, her phone in her hand. “You sure you don’t want me to call a tow? It’d be slower but probably a little bit easier for you. I know we’ve been strengthening our powers but I don’t want to tire you out too much if I can just call a truck.”_

_“Nah, Izzy, I’ve got it.” The mark showed up on the back of Alex’s hand and Kyle caught it before Alex could hide it. He looked at Alex with wide eyes then back at Michael.  
_

_“Alex?” He whispered. Alex shook his head._

So he figured he was due. After all, Michael wasn’t generally known for his overwhelming honesty or for being considerate for long periods of time. Alex just hadn’t quite expected how the next mark would come. 

For starters, Michael told Maria and invited her to the next Saving Deputy Evans planning party. They spent most of the time letting Michael and Isobel explain everything they knew about their species and their history before delving into Noah and then finally Max. 

“So you can move things with your mind?” Maria checked with them. “And read people’s minds? And heal?”

“It’s not quite that simple,” Michael argued. “For the longest time we each only had one power but since Max died, Isobel and I have been strengthening our other powers. And it’s not so much mind reading as it is sort of getting into someone’s mind?”

Maria nodded and then asked another question which Liz answered. Alex didn’t hear. He was too focused on Michael. Michael kept glancing over at him, a strange look on his face like he was gearing up for something big. Alex knew whatever it was, Michael would bring it up later, but he couldn’t help but tense up the longer Michael kept looking over at him. He’d been doing it all night but it had only increased in frequency.

“Alex,” he said suddenly. The room quieted at once, everyone turning to face him but he only stared evenly at Alex, his eyes never once leaving him. “I love you.” Distantly, he heard Maria react but it hardly registered.

He’d thought he’d known pain before, though he would never recover from the wound he received at Caulfield. He was wrong, though. Because nothing compared to the bone deep agony of a fresh mark carving itself deep into his chest at Michael’s words.


	3. Chapter 3

There was a moment, probably not longer than ten seconds, where the room stood frozen. Alex fell back a step and clutched at his chest involuntarily, the shirt wet with what he assumed was blood. Kyle, Liz, and Rosa all looked furious, though Alex imagined for different reasons. Maria looked heartbroken and confused. Isobel looked…blank.

The tableau shattered with Michael. One second he was calm and even gazed and the next he was horrified, his face twisted in sorrow as he leapt out of his chair and across the room. Kyle jumped between him and Alex but Michael pushed him aside. “Alex, no, no, no, I love you.” Alex braced for another cut but it didn’t come. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” He kept repeating it and every time Alex braced himself only to find that his skin remained intact. Eventually he stopped bracing for injury and embraced the words and the feeling that came with it.

“What is going on?” Maria asked. Alex hated how shattered she sounded.

Michael ignored her, pressing his forehead to Alex’s as he kept repeating those three words. “No lie,” he finally whispered. “I promise. No lie.”

“Okay,” Kyle said slowly when it became apparent to him that Michael wasn’t hurting Alex any further. “What the fuck just happened?”

Michael was suddenly furious and Alex took a step back as he whirled on his sister. Isobel looked like she was in between emotions. Alex imagined that a moment ago she looked pleased with herself but the expression was quickly falling in the face of Michael’s reaction and his rage. “What the fuck was that, Isobel?!”

Isobel looked offended. “You said we would need to demonstrate our powers for Maria! We agreed I would use you instead of any of the humans!”

“Wait, so you made Michael tell Alex he loved him?” Maria stepped forward. “Why would you do that?”

“I couldn’t make him say something he didn’t want to and it was the one thing he was holding himself back from saying! If I made him say something he was already going to say it wouldn’t have proved anything,” she looked between Michael and Maria and Alex. “But I only made him say it once.”

Alex still had his hand on his chest, still felt the blood coating his palm through his shirt. “I don’t understand.”

“It was Isobel,” Kyle realized. “It might have been Michael’s mouth saying the words but it was actually Isobel. His mouth saying words with her intent.”

Michael turned back to Alex and said once more for good measure, “I love you, Alex. I swear to god that’s not a lie. That’s never going to be a lie.”

“What I don’t understand,” Rosa asked. “Is if you two are soulmates, why is Michael with Maria?”

They both turned to look at her.

“We don’t have soulmates,” Isobel protested weakly. But by now the blood was obvious enough that it was hard to deny what had happened.

“I think I hate your sister,” Alex said tiredly.

A mark bloomed on Michael’s wrist. “Liar,” he smiled weakly.

“I’m going to go,” Maria announced. Liz cast a glare at Michael before her eyes turned to Alex and softened into something close to pity as she followed her out.

“Let me look at that,” Kyle ordered gently. He was walking in from the kitchen with a first aid kit. Alex hadn’t seen him leave the room. Michael took the kit from him without letting go of Alex.

“I’ve got him,” he said. Gently he turned Alex around and guided him to the closest bathroom.

“Alex?” Kyle called stepping into their way. He cast a wary glance at Michael.

“I’m good, Kyle,” he nodded at him. Truthfully, he didn’t want to know how Kyle would react to seeing all of the marks on his chest. Alex imagined that it wouldn’t go over well and he had no desire to see Kyle and Michael get into a fight tonight.

“Here,” Michael put down the kit as soon as they were in the bathroom and started tugging at the hem of Alex’s shirt. Together they got it as far as his chest before Alex realized it wasn’t going to happen.

“Just cut it off,” he sighed. “Does Isobel have any of Noah’s stuff around I could borrow?”

Michael shook his head. “She threw it all out.” Nonetheless he fished a pair of scissors out of the door and cut Alex’s shirt straight down the middle. When he was finished he froze, the scissors falling to hang limply at his side while he stared at Alex’s chest.

Alex didn’t particularly want to look but he couldn’t help it. It was bad. The mark from Caulfield was about half an inch log and had raised scar tissue. He’d thought it would be the worst mark he received but no. This one was worse. It almost looked like a surgical wound, cutting a neat, straight line deep into the meat of his chest. Alex estimated that it was over an inch longer, twice as long as the mark from Caulfield which itself was longer than any other.

“We might need Kyle in here,” Alex realized. It would probably need stitches.

“I did this,” Michael’s voice shook. Alex was distressed to realize he didn’t get a new mark.

“No,” he said firmly. “This was Isobel. She didn’t know what she was doing but this is because of her.” No marks appeared on Michael but Alex wasn’t sure he realized it.

“Because I didn’t tell her. If I’d told her the truth, been honest about you, about us, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Michael,” Alex lifted his chin from where he was still staring at the new mark. “You didn’t do this. This is not your fault.”

“I-”

“Do you love me?” He cut him off.

“Yes,” Michael replied immediately.

“You’ve now said that about 20 times,” Alex smiled. “And I don’t have another mark on me. This wasn’t you.”

Michael shook his head. “I’m quite literally the only person who could do this to you, Alex.”

“I guess the rules are different when aliens get involved.” Alex reached for Michael with the other hand but couldn’t. “Okay we need to work through your issues another time. For now, go get Kyle.”

(for the record, Alex was right about Kyle not being happy with the state of his chest)

—

“Hey,” Maria greeted timidly. She held a box of chocolates from the chocolate shop on Main St. “I come in peace?”

Alex snorted and waved her in. “I think I’m the wrong audience for that line.” She smiled and handed him the chocolates as they sat down on the couch. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Maria shot him a look. “I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“He’s your soulmate,” she countered.

“But you didn’t know that.” They’d broken up that night even if it took them three days to actually have the conversation because Michael refused to leave Alex until Alex could move without wincing at every breath.

“I should have.”

Alex snorted. “How? Maria I didn’t even realize until the day before Max died and it took me weeks to get Michael to see the truth.” He shook his head. “The only person at fault here was Michael and he had his own valid reasons.”

“He hurt you,” she said sadly.

Alex nodded. “He did. In more ways than one. But that’s okay because we’re working through it. And learning new things about each other. Like how I love when he leaves wet towels on the bathroom floor. Or how much he enjoys cleaning up after Buffy. And how great a cook I am.”

“Really Alex?” Michael’s voice carried in through the window.

Maria looked at the window in surprise before turning back to Alex. “I take it those were all lies?”

Alex shrugged. “I spent 20 years carefully not lying about anything. It’s actually rather freeing.”

“Still,” she said quietly. “Doesn’t make up for-”

“Maria,” he cut in. “I think it might be a better idea for both of us if we didn’t discuss the particulars of either of our relationship with Michael.”

She considered that and then nodded. “I think maybe you’re right.”

“Thank you for the chocolates,” he smiled. “They’re my favorites.”

She smiled, genuinely this time. “I know. Who do you think sent them to you while you were deployed?”

“You are a goddess Maria DeLuca,” he sighed. He’d suspected but the boxes were always unmarked so he couldn’t be sure. “Everyone on base was jealous of me when those boxes came in.”

“Well I’m glad. They should’ve been jealous.” She laughed and hugged him gently before leaving.

“Everything okay?” Michael asked from the back door.

Alex nodded. “You should talk to her.”

“Ah,” Michael shook his head. “I think it’s better for everyone involved if I give her some space.” He grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and downed half of it. “We still going to the Crashdown for dinner?”

Alex raised his eyebrows. “After you take a shower. You look gross.”

“Hey!” Michael replied, voice full of faux offense. “I-” he stopped and looked down at himself then looked slowly up at Alex. “You filthy liar.”

Alex shrugged. “You should cut your hair. It looks terrible.”

“Lie,” Michael came up behind the couch and pressed a kiss to Alex’s neck. “And lie.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Another lie.” Michael tilted Alex’s head back and they looked at each other upside down. “Try again?”

“I don’t want you to kiss me.”

“Liar,” Michael whispered as he brought their lips together.


End file.
